My Breaking Point

I feel like as you write a blog (especially one where you talk about Jesus) your stories are supposed to get better as the blog goes on. They are supposed to be more uplifting, and each post should be sunshine and roses and about all these great things that are happening in your life.
Real talk, that's not happening. Not for me. Last night, I hit a breaking point. I was already upset about some things going on, I got off the phone with my mom, and I started bawling. I'm talking red eyes, runny nose, sobbing, ugly cry! I have been getting so frustrated about a particular area in my life, and all the emotions I had been keeping in came pouring out.

I found myself crying out to God and just saying, "I don't understand." Very shortly after that, I heard God say "Be still, and know that I am God." What a gentle reminder. While I was acting like a child and freaking out, it was all for nothing! God is still God. I was talking with a friend the other day, and she told me that one of her goals for this year was to rely on God for everything, instead of trying to do it all herself. I realized that I do the same thing, and that I wanted to make that a goal for myself, as well. As I was thinking last night, I thought, "There is no way to get through this except with God." And then I asked myself, "Why is God my last resort? Why isn't He the first person I go to?"

I think we all have the tendency to do this. We try to figure things out and plan things on our own. Then, when they fail, we go to God. Wouldn't it be easier if we went to Him first? I don't know about you, but that would save me a lot of time, tears, and stress. We just need to be still.