Found this post from a few months ago, and I wanted to go ahead and share it. I think I didn't before because it felt super vulnerable. But if my vulnerability helps somebody else, I can lay down my pride for a little bit and be vulnerable.
You know, I have never quite understood why breakups are the worst. Like yes, it involves your heart. And yes, you also sometimes lose your best friend in the process. I get all of that. But no matter how hard we try, no matter how much we guard our hearts, the fact remains: breakups hurt. They heart our hearts, obviously. But they also seem to find ways to hurt other things. Our confidence, our hope, our dreams, our plans, our pride, and our day to day lives. The list goes on and on. And often times, the hurt comes back again, even after days, weeks, months of being perfectly fine. WHY?
To be honest, I thought I was getting married this year. All of the people who love me and are reading this are probably cringing right now. Because that’s one of those things that you aren’t supposed to admit. It’s something you are supposed to keep to yourself. Something you’re supposed to keep quiet. But I’m tired of living a “keep it quiet” life. Because how many times have I kept things quiet that somebody else needed to hear? And you know what, I know for a fact that there are people out there who have had this same thought, only to have the rug pulled out from underneath them. They are left laying on their backs, stunned, confused, out of breath, and at a loss. It happens more times than we know, I'm sure.
I feel like one reason breakups hurt so bad, is because we don't talk about them. We are expected to put on a brave face and pretend that our life is going on like normal. But the thing about pushing things down and not expressing them, is that it usually makes it worse, not better. Emotions aren't meant to be ignored, they are meant to be expressed. You don't have to put on a brave face all the time. It's okay to hurt and to tell people that you do. I recently heard somebody say, "Since birth, tears have been a sign of life." WOW. Just wow. Cry your tears. They don't make you weak, they make you human.
Another reason is that we try to fill the void that person left with other things. We try to distract ourselves with family and friends. With errands and tasks. With overachieving and getting overly involved. We say yes to everything and no to pausing long enough to feel. Can I just tell you, this doesn't make it better either. This plan of action still leaves you broken and empty. The only thing that can fill that void you feel so deeply is Jesus. He is the only thing that can comfort your broken heart. The only thing that can bring you true comfort and peace in the midst of the pain.
So cry the tears. Talk about it. Walk through every painful step, keeping your eyes on Jesus. Pursue Him like never before. I promise you, He is the only thing that will bring you true healing and restoration.
