The Greatest of These

One thing I have been learning a lot about is God's love. Now, I still have a lot to learn. I mean, how can you fully learn about a love that can never fully be comprehended? Anyway, I teach Kindergarten. One of my favorite books to read to my class is The Jesus Storybook Bible. It is fabulous. It has gorgeous pictures, and the Bible stories are told in a very kid-friendly way. However, my favorite part of this book is the way it describes God's love for us.

Every time it refers to God's love, it calls it "Never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love." Wow. The first time I read it, I was blown away at how well this book for Children described God's love. And every time I am reading a story to my class and come across this phrase, it stops me in my tracks. I try to read it slowly and soak up each word. Even when I do that, it is still hard for me to wrap my brain around.

Also quite recently, I have discovered the story of Hosea (Yes, recently. I am not sure how I came to be an adult without knowing this story!) In case you are not familiar with the story either, God asks Hosea to marry a woman who didn't have a good past and didn't make great choices. While they were married, she left Hosea and continued to make bad choices. But through all of this, Hosea took her back and continued to love her. This is such an amazing picture of God's love for us. We sin, we turn away from God, we try to figure things out on our own, we try to plan our lives the way we think is best and ignore God's leading, we don't always make good choices. And through it all, GOD STILL LOVES US. He still takes us back, He continues to forgive us, He stays faithful to His Word, and He still looks at us as His precious children.

His love never stops, even when we make mistakes. His love never gives up, even when we turn away or ignore Him. His love is unbreaking, even when we make the wrong choices. And His love is always and forever, no matter how long it takes us to accept it and believe it.

It has taken me a long time to realize the depth of God's love. Honestly, I hope I never stop discovering just how deep it is. I think that maybe the most amazing part is, He knows we can never return this same kind of love to Him. And He still chooses to show us His love anyway.

Fooling Myself

I am a planner. I always have been. I like to plan my day, my shopping trips, my vacations, and my life. I have this plan in my head of what I want my life to be and when I want certain things to happen. Recently, I told myself that I am totally giving it to God. I am going to let Him be the planner, since He already has the perfect plan in mind. And for a while, I really thought that I had done that. PSYCH! I totally haven't. 

So here is one example of what I did. One thing that I told myself I wasn't going to try to plan or figure out was when I am going to get married. In my original plan, it was going to happen right after college, which it obviously did not. So, when I decided to give it to God, I told myself that it probably wasn't going to happen for a few years. Last night, I had an epiphany. All I did was make a new plan for myself. I told myself that I was giving it to God, but really I just told myself what God's plan was probably going to be. Hello?! How does that even make sense?? The thing is, I don't know God's whole plan, and I don't want to! I know that He will reveal parts of it to me when I am ready for it. If He told me I wasn't going to get married for 5 years, I would probably get super sad and mope around. If He told me I was getting married in a year, I would constantly be looking around me, trying to figure out who my future husband was. God already has the perfect plan laid out for me. And I know it is better than anything I could ever dream up. 

Proverbs 16:9 says, "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." I love that God totally knew that we were going to do this. He knew that we would try to plan our jobs, our marriage, our family, our finances. And he loves and cares for us enough to remind us that He is the one who directs our path.  Although it's a hard thing for me to do, I am so thankful that I can relinquish my control to a God who wants better things for me that I want for myself. 

Did you forget?

Our brains are so interesting to me. They have the capacity to hold and do so much. Yet somehow, when it comes to spiritual things, we are so often forgetful. Maybe this is just me, and maybe you can't relate at all. If that is the case, please tell me your secret!
I have realized recently that when I face a challenge or trial in my job, a relationship, my finances, my family, or anything else, my first instinct is to be worried. I start trying to figure out how to fix it on my own. And guess what, that never works! And then, I feel like God says to me, "Did you forget? Have you forgotten all the times I have shown myself faithful to you? Why would this time be any different?" It's like an ah-ha moment. Well of course! Why was that not my first instinct??
I don't know about you, but I would like to get to the place where going to God and reminding myself of His faithfulness is the first thing I do when faced with a challenge.
He has shown Himself faithful to me more times than I can count. He has never left me or forsaken me, and I know that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. When something comes my way, I know that He is right there with me, ready to fight the battle.

One Year

365 days. It's amazing what can happen in that amount of time. I think about things a lot....like a lot. So, this past week, I have been thinking a lot about what my life looked like and things I had going on at this time last year. This time last year, I had recently moved into my apartment. For me, this was a huge deal! I was now paying my own bills, cleaning my own house, living by myself....every day. It was so exciting and such a blessing. It was a huge moment and time for me.

Unfortunately, when I think about this time last year, the apartment is not what stands out to me the most. What stands out to me, is the relationship I had just gotten out of. Now, please don't stop reading now that I have said that. I know relationships can be taboo, but stick with me! This particular "relationship" was pretty short lived, but also pretty powerful. Sadly, a relationship that only lasted about 2 months felt like it had lasted years, especially when it ended. When it was over, it's safe to say that my world was rocked. Breakups are never easy, but this one was particularly terrible for some reason. However, the crazy wonderful thing was, after only a few days, I felt more peace than I ever thought possible.

One good thing that came from this relationship, was the fact that, while we were together, he made me dream bigger. He was the first person to ever question my very easy, very safe life plan. He asked me one day, "If you could do anything in the world, what would it be? Anything at all?" I realize that that one question is not a big deal, but it was honestly the first time I had ever voiced some of the dreams and goals I had deep in my heart.

Even though the relationship itself didn't turn out well, God brought so many amazing things out of it. Over this past year, I feel like I have grown into a completely new person. I have a deeper trust in and reliance on God than ever before. I am finally allowing myself to dream big and not be afraid to voice those hopes and dreams. I have more confidence in myself and who I am in Christ. I have conquered so many fears, with God's help. I will follow God wherever He takes me and do whatever He asks me to do. And I honestly don't know that I could have said that a year ago. One year seems like nothing compared to our whole lives and to eternity, but it is amazing how much can change in just 365 days.