Don't Grow Weary

Have you ever felt weary? I mean truly weary. Weary can mean a couple of different things. Lacking strength or energy because of a need for rest,  being bored or annoyed by something because you have seen it, heard it, or done it for a long time, or being exhausted in strength, endurance, or vigor. I feel like, at some point, we have all been there. We have worked on a project for hours, only to have to start over because something went wrong. Or we have gone over something 10 million times already, and our boss asks us to do it just "one more time." (It's never just one more time...) Or we have waited a hundred years for that guy to ask us out, and then he doesn't. And we have all been so busy living life, and then one day we realize how truly worn down we are.

I'll be honest with you. In this season of my life, I was starting to get weary. This is an extremely busy season for me. With a new job and coaching, I don't have a lot of time to slow down. I absolutely love what I do, but at the same time, I was definitely growing weary. I find it so interesting that God specifically addresses weariness in the Bible. Galatians 6:9 says "Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season [at just the right time] we shall reap if we do not lose heart [give up]." Wow. God literally tells us in this verse that we are not supposed to grow weary. What? God, is that even possible? The world we live in is so busy. And it is very rare for anybody to slow down or take a break. However, if we are not careful, we can let this busyness turn to weariness. "Man, I have to stay up late AGAIN to go to small group." "I really wish my daughter didn't have another game tonight." "This job is so hard. I am so lost, but I have to keep going because nobody has time for my questions." 

I don't always understand why things work out the way they do. Why we can strive so hard towards something for so long, and not see a light at the end of the tunnel. However, I do know that God is faithful. I do know that in the past, His timing has always been better than mine. And His plan and path for me have always been the best. I also know that He will send you encouragements and reassurances along the way, if you let Him. In the past week, I have had two friends, two co-workers, and a volunteer tell me that I am loved, I am seen, and I am appreciated. It was the most incredible thing. There I was, feeling sorry for myself and questioning God's plan and His timing. And at just the right time, He sends those people with encouragement to me. It was as if God was saying, "Lauren, I see you. I see the work that you are putting in. I see how hard you are trying, and I know it's hard. But you are on the right track. You are exactly where I want you. Keep it up. I have never led you astray, and I never will. Trust me."

I am reading Lysa TerKeurst's new book Uninvited. It is rocking my world y'all. It is so good! In the book she gives the example of a ballerina in training. She talks about how that ballerina may have a bad night on the stage, but the next morning, she gets up and goes to practice again. Her instructor tweaks the things she needs help with and gives her encouragement to keep going. This is our relationship with God. We may have a bad or tiring day, but we come to the Lord each night and ask Him to help us tweak things and give us the strength to keep going. Yes, it's tiring, but He is with us every step of the way. And in the end, it is our instructor's view of us that matters most. It's His opinion and His encouragement and His strength that we should be continually seeking.

So in the weariness, don't lose sight of who you are working for! Don't give up when it gets hard or when you feel that weariness coming. God sees you. God knows the work you're putting in. God is preparing your harvest. At just the right time, he will encourage you. And at just the right time, that harvest will come. 

Steps

Steps. We always hear that this is how God leads us. Which is true. But sometimes I feel like we forget what that actually entails. I also think that often times, we focus on the fact that we don't understand the steps God is asking us to take, rather than just trusting Him. He can see the whole picture, and we can only see part of it. Let me tell you what I mean.

Ok, so here I am, in my third year of teaching. I am teaching 7th grade English. Hilarious. Want to know why? I went to school to teach Elementary age kiddos. Early Childhood to be exact. Since high school, I wanted to be a Kindergarten teacher. If you had told me I was ever going to teach middle school, I literally would have laughed in your face. The thought horrified and scared me. But here I am. After 2 years of teaching precious 5 and 6 year-olds, I am teaching 12 and 13 year-olds. From the outside looking in, people probably think I am crazy or can't make up my mind about what I want to do. But I disagree.

See, I think the steps of going to school, getting a degree, and teaching Kindergarten were all crucial steps in God's path for me. ORU's education department is all about Literacy, so how perfect that I am able to use all that literacy training I received to teach my English classes! When I was teaching Kindergarten, I formed amazing, God-ordained relationships with specific students and parents each year. When I was thinking about switching grades in the Spring of this year, I was so confused as to why God didn't just have me start in 7th grade. He helped me to see why I needed those two years. First off, He knew that I needed to start there because it had always been my dream to teach Kindergarten. He knew my heart, and knew that I needed those two years. Secondly, God brought specific students and parents into my classes each year. Some of those parents are some of my greatest friends to this day and have spoken so much life and encouragement into me. And it might surprise you, but 5-year-olds can speak life and encouragement into your life just as easily as adults can! Thirdly, I truly believe that there were specific students in my classes each year that needed to have me as their teacher. Not because I am so fabulous, but because God gave me the ability to love on them and teach them like no other teacher could. Finally, there are a few of my co-workers who spoke into my life and ministered to me in ways that I cannot express in words. They are relationships that are so precious to me and I treasure so much! Each of those steps prepared me for the job I have now, teaching and coaching my amazing 7th grade and high school students.

This brings me to my most recent, and current step. Yes, I do believe where I am is a step and not my final destination. God has been working on my heart over the past few months in a way I never imagined. Lauren Steele, the girl who grew up wanting to be a teacher, wife, and mom only, is dreaming of more. One of the reasons I went to ORU was because I wanted to be close to home. I was afraid to stray too far from my family, and often cried when I had to leave. Today, my heart and dreams and desires are crossing oceans in a way that can only be described as shocking. I know that people looking in at my life are probably thinking, "Man, this chick just needs to make up her mind and stick with something." But they don't know what I know. This is another step. I may not know exactly what is coming, or why God has led me there the way He has. But I have no reason to doubt. Every step He has given me has had a specific purpose behind it, and I know that this is no different. God knows my innermost thoughts and dreams and goals and desires. He is going to lead me to those things and even more than I imagined. I can't see the whole picture, but He can. He is guiding me day by day and step by step.

I was always told that the fastest path between two points is a straight line, but I don't think that is the way things work in God's kingdom. God's path may not always be the fastest, but it is always always always the best!

Expecting the Unexpected

Hello again!
It's me, your long lost blogger. I hate that it has been so long since I have posted. Hopefully I will begin posting fairly regularly again...hopefully!

Anyway, as you all know, it's a new year. As per usual, lots of people are making resolutions and goals for the upcoming year. (Please note: I was going to try to abbreviate the word "usual," but I didn't know how to spell it. Turns out I am not the only one, and it is actually a widely discussed topic on the internet. Just thought you should know.) Moving on, I have made some goals for myself. I have some typical ones like starting to run and eat decently again, reading more books, getting more sleep, etc. But one of my main goals was beginning to wake up early each morning to read my Bible and pray before my day begins. I usually start out the school year okay, but then fade quickly as the alarm goes off early each day. I know from experience the difference that time makes throughout my day, so I wanted to get back into the habit.

Monday went great! I got up mostly on time, and started my day and week fabulously! To make it even better, I had a great day. I was super excited to see my students again, and it wasn't actually terrible waking up so early. Then Tuesday came. I got up mostly on time again, and I had a bomb reading and prayer time. I was a little bit sleepier than Monday, but I powered through. I was so excited because I just knew that this renewed habit was going to change everything.

[Enter the unexpected] Within an hour of finishing my prayer, my day began to fall apart. I got a text that gave me a heads up about some drama I would be walking into when I arrived at school. Then, I was rushed getting out the door. (I had to take 2 meals, 3 snacks, and coffee with me when I left, and I was running late.) And of course, there was traffic. I finally get to school, and realize that, not only did I not get to school early like I wanted to, I MISSED A MEETING. I pretty much never do that, so I was not happy. In cheer practice, I realized that I did not tell my girls to prepare to leave for the basketball game right after school, so none of them had their uniforms. Major coaching fail. After practice, I get two more pieces of less than fabulous info, one of which was somebody telling me I was not in a lovely mood. (I hate people knowing when I am in a non-lovely mood.) I began thinking to myself, "What is that deal?? I just knew that today was going to be a great day, and it has completely fallen apart before 10 AM!" And then I remembered I had started making an effort to put God first. Well duh Lauren, of course your frustrations are piling up. Satan wants you to give up and decide that sleep is more important preparation for a good day.

Now, you're probably thinking to yourself, "Lauren, everyone knows that the enemy attacks when you start getting closer to God. You should have been prepared for that." And you would be right. I should have. But I forgot...which is so easy to do. But now that I have been reminded, I will be expecting the unexpected. I will be ready. The next time I begin to have a bad day or get bad news, I will have a verse ready to stand on. I know that this is something that I need to do before I begin each day. And I will not let one bad day and one attack from the enemy make me question that. So, I just want to gently remind you to expect the unexpected. Not to live in fear, but to live in preparation for the attacks of the enemy. We know that he only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. We need to make sure that we are ready to kick him in the teeth the next time he tries.