Another birthday. Another year. Unfortunately (or fortunately,
I haven’t decided yet), my birthday falls fairly close to the new year. Because
of this, I find myself reflecting on the past year twice as much. Maybe it’s
just me, but when you’re reflecting on your year, whether because of a birthday
or because of the calendar, I feel like you want to just be blown away by all
the amazing things that happened. Things that you did. Things that God did. Big
life moments and breakthroughs. Goals accomplished. Fears conquered. Sins overcome.
Books read. Weight lost. New habits formed. Crap gotten together. And so forth.
Just me?
When I started thinking about my birthday and a new
year, I honestly got a little upset. I started realizing all the things I said
I wanted to do and be and accomplish that didn’t happen. And, no matter the
reason they didn’t, it sucked. There’s nothing quite like coming face to face
with your short comings. Very shortly after that, because Jesus is so sweet and
so good, I was reminded of the beauty of God’s kingdom. And the fact that it
works differently than ours. I started remembering, and CHOOSING to remember, the things that did
happen. God doesn’t remember our short-comings, and neither should we.
I received so many beautiful and needed and unexpected friendships
that I have wanted and prayed for for so long. They did not come in the way or
the packaging or the location that I planned in my head. Some of them were
people that I knew and never expected to be able to get close to. But they’re here.
And they ‘re honestly just such a huge blessing.
I set out to try new things this year. I went to freaking
India. Who am I?? Did I have a life-changing experience? Nope. But I went. I
started playing ultimate frisbee. Again, who am I? I am terrible. But it has become
the highlight of my week! I went kayaking. I said yes to parties and get togethers
where there was no guarantee there would be people I knew there. These may not
seem like major things, but they were huge for me.
I started a new job. I was terrified. But I did it, and I
love it. It is the perfect fit for me. Pouring into my students every day, even
just being around them, has brought me so much joy and fulfillment. Jesus knows
me so much better than I know myself.
My cheerleaders won runner-up at our Game Day competition.
Once again, this may not seem like a big deal to some. (Some of you can’t get
past the fact that somebody would be excited about anything other than first
place.) But I know my girls. I know the changes and hardships they’ve been
through over the past year. I know the hours and pain and injuries and tears
that went into preparation for that day. I know that day was filled with with
passion and determination. I know we made up a 17 point deficit between prelims
and finals to move from 3rd to 2nd. I got to be a very small
part of 12 girls experiencing what happens when you give all you have to
something, and trust Jesus to bless it.
I got to see four precious friends get married and start new
chapters in their lives. My brother and I have gotten closer. I got to visit my
dear friend after she moved to Denver. I read lots of good books. I moved into
a new apartment that I love. I cleaned out my closet (BIG deal for me.) And I
got closer to Jesus.
I do want to say, I am not AT ALL trying to just tell you
about all the great things that happened to me this year. My heart is to show
you that sometimes the good things that you need to focus on, don’t necessarily
seem like a big deal while they’re happening. Lots of times we’re waiting for
big life moments. And sometimes the big life moments are lots of little ones
put together.
So, did I accomplish all my goals or succeed in all my
resolutions? No. Not even close, actually. But I’m starting to be okay with that.
I want to start reminding myself of and focusing on the things that DO happen
each year. Rather than the things that don’t. Am I still going to set goals?
Absolutely. I think it’s important to have a clear vision and direction. To
refocus and redirect yourself every so often. But at the end of each day and the
end of each year, reaching all my goals or checking off all the to-do items
doesn’t actually mean anything. At the end of the day, I want to remember the
good. Give God the glory, and thank Him for the gift of getting to do it all
again tomorrow.
26, you were pretty good to me. And to all the people who helped
make it great, thank you. Truly.
Here’s to 27. I’m not sure what you will bring me, but I’m
ready.
