The Myth of "The One Who Got Away"

We've all heard that phrase. Usually it's used to describe somebody in our lives who we thought was the bee's knees, but unfortunately isn't in our lives anymore. (Probably by their choice, not yours.) What a depressing way to look at life!

Don't get me wrong, I've done it, too. Fairly recently actually. But last night I had a revelation. When we have somebody in our lives who chooses to leave, we shouldn't see them as the one who "got away."  Instead, we should see ourselves that way.  We are the person who they missed out on, not the other way around.

Now, let me clarify, I'm not saying that you should walk around thinking you're hot stuff and everybody should want to know you and be your friend.  However, I am suggesting that you have enough respect for yourself to realize that what somebody else thinks of you doesn't actually change who you are or what you have to offer.

There is a quote by Ted Rubin that says "Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth."  I had heard this quote before, but when I saw it again last night, I really got it. I am the kind of person who always blames myself when something goes wrong in any relationship (family, love, friendship, etc. ) My first thought is always, "Crap! I screwed it up again." Or "What did I do wrong?" Or "What if I had done _____ instead?" (And I agree that sometimes, we do need to ask ourselves these questions.) But there are also times that we need to realize that the other person would have acted the same way, no matter what we did or didn't do.  Because you are not the problem!  And I have a feeling that the people we really need and want in our lives, are going to stay through it all.  And in all honesty, those are the people we really want in our lives.

So, if somebody walks away, LET THEM.  If they are supposed to be in your life, God will restore the relationship.
Sometimes, it's our job to mend relationships. But other times, God just wants us to sit back and let Him place the right people exactly where they need to be.